Today. Amiright? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the kind of day that the pages of history have taught us are best spent lying in bed*, today was an 11 in the way that only a completely negative human being who really just wants an excuse to lie in bed and drink […]Read more "On Love and Pro Con Lists"
There are a lot of things that I have learned in the last year (plus), one of those things being that I can rarely leave a depressing blog post up by it’s lonesome for more than 24 hours. It makes me itchy. I, unfortunately, have nothing hilarious to write about, except maybe the kindergarten yoga […]Read more "On Love and Pinteresting"
“Who is screaming?” Time was choppy like a scratched CD as I stared at the black Grand Prix flying towards me in my rear view mirror. “I wish they would just shut the hell up. I can’t concentrate.” Then everything pressed on me from behind — the seat, the air, the sound of squealing tires, […]Read more "On Love and Car Seats"
It doesn’t take long for a single girl, working on total life reconstruction and deep self-exploration to decide that they are able to stand the idea of meeting a stranger for drinks. There is a certain appeal to putting on make up and real pants and pretending to have the best personality in the world. […]Read more "On Love and Being a Hot Piece of Apple Pie"
“Are you comfortable?” the dentist asked me through his surgical mask. “You’re about to slice open my gums and remove my teeth.” I thought, “What person is going to be comfortable with that? And I can’t see your face so stranger danger is definitely a cause for concern right now.” I attempted to reach for my […]Read more "On Love and Nitrous"
I almost completely hate the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” on the principal of “he’s just not that important” except for a small fondness for the part when Drew Barrymore says, “I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me […]Read more "On Love and Linking In"
Today I remembered a promise I made to myself mid-way up a mountain in Central America on my “Climb with Carlos” (all rights officially the legal equivalent of seat-checked). Because of that delusional, oxygen deprived promise to myself, I went to the gym. There ain’t nothing you can do to make me break a promise to myself […]Read more "On Love and Boob Sweat"
“Un poco más…” Carlos assured me from under his classic cowboy hat. I was days into my volunteer trip to a coffee farm in Guatemala. A little more. A little more what? I began to wonder. Just a little more until we reach the “finca de café” (coffee farm) owned by Filleberto and his son Carlos? […]Read more "On Love y un Poco Más"
Not too much has changed since I’ve gone off the deep end. I feel generally the same. No fantastic weight loss or a sudden diminishing of achey joints. I haven’t seen the light, bought chickens or sold all my clothes that were made by slave children (though now that I’ve said that I feel kind […]Read more "On Love and Nothing Changing"
The other day when my iPad was dead, I thought to myself, “I want to rescue elephants.” Of course that’s a ridiculous thought because there haven’t been any recent job postings in my zip code for Elephant Saviors, but none-the-less it was a thought that I had. Which led me to more thoughts, which led […]Read more "On Love and Don’t Try This at Home"