“Say Guatemala one more %@*$ time.” Valerie was staring at me from across the couch, crab rangoon poised perfected between her thumb and pinky like a weapon. “But…” I stumbled, spilling some whiskey on my pink duvet, a christening of sorts as far as Valerie was concerned. “No…No, I dare you. Say Guatemala ONE. MORE. […]
Read more "On Love and Valerina"*Note* Written post procedure in May, 2018 It could be the pain medication talking, but I really fucking love my uterus. My uterus, and all accompanying nether-parts, have been through so much stress lately I’ve been thinking about getting them their own psychiatrist, or at least a prescription for Valium. Miranda on Sex and the […]
Read more "On Love and My Uterus"“Black Bear, Black Bear, what do you see?” “I see a sweaty girl, looking at me.” That’s the start of the new edition of the popular children’s book. It’s a collaboration between myself, the Black Bear, and the Black Bear Cub that I saw while hiking today in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and we are […]
Read more "On Love and Black Bears"I’m going to do that thing you’re never supposed to do. I’m going to say that I hate bridesmaid’s dresses. I can specifically say this because the bride and groom of the wedding I’m in next weekend would have allowed me to show up at the altar in a potato sack. Not only that, but […]
Read more "On Love and Curvalicious"[Hey there, hi there! This is my potential trigger warning for survivors of sexual assault. Nothing too graphic, but it is still discussed. Take care of you.] “So,” Lorelai* started, “I got a little too drunk last week. The kind of drunk where you really don’t realize it until the next morning?” She ended on […]
Read more "On Love and Unwanted Advances"“The mountains are calling and I must go.” This phrase has been flooding everyone’s Pinterest and Instagram, since…well…the dawn of Pinterest and Instagram. I, myself, have probably pinned it 3-7 times during those dark twisty periods when I felt like running away from all my problems would be fun and/or feasible. It is the […]
Read more "On Love and Mountains"“What about Kyle?” This is anywhere from the first through third question people have asked me when I have told them I am taking a job in Virginia. It makes sense. Kyle is the most fantastic man to have ever loved me, soooooo… yea. What about Kyle? But also, can we…can we just…can we just […]
Read more "On Love and the Virginia Mary"I remember being somewhere in the middle of high school and lying under the pool table at my friend Elli’s house. We were, of course, having the time of our lives, laughing and eating the worst pancakes I’ve ever had (sorry Elli). We talked about college, and our various trips to D.C., France, Ireland, and […]
Read more "On Love and It Gets Better"In the next few months I could be moving out of state, or just moving down the road. I could take a job in Chicago, or find something stable here in Dayton. There is absolutely no script for whatever happens next. This doesn’t make a lot of sense, really, because I am everyone’s favorite cruise-directing, list-making, […]
Read more "On Love and What’s Next?"I recently obtained some incredibly insightful advice from one of those Facebook reposts that has been copied and edited so many times it’s a little blurry and sort of looks like it came from the mid-90’s. This is, of course, where I get all my good advice, and is maybe why my life closely resembles a victim […]
Read more "On Love and 2*16"